Monday, November 9, 2009

Melancholy And The Infinite Sadness


I've been cracking my head recently, whining about my sadness that I've been hiding through smiles and laughter with friends and officemates. I think that ultimate happiness is a myth untill you truly understand its meaning. But untill you do, such bliss can only be experienced momentarily, and one only has the right composure and well-made mask to seal his melancholia. Sadness is something we feel involuntarily and no matter how much we philosophize that loneliness is a state of mind. the mere fact that we think of it as such just re-affirms that we are actually sad.

It's difficult to understand that the purpose of living this world is to achieve happiness, and we all have these fantasies and own means and processes to reach that point. The bottomline of all these ambitions and passions is to unearth cloud nine.

We say there are enough reasons to be happy. We have our family, our home, our job, our money ... the fact that we are breathing is enough to put a smile in our faces. But we are too human to be contented: we must dream. And we will spend our entire lifetime searching for our purpose. And the stark reality is we will lurk on our unsatisfctory selves most of our time.

Nothing in this life is simple. Nothing is boring. The fact that you want to escape the state of "boredom" is a challenge on its own. And contemplation means ticking your brains out, bursting your brain cells to come up with something. When we envision a simple life, we are actually dreaming og something grandiose. What we normally say, at most times to cover our projected wisdom and positive self-image, isn't entirely what we really want to say. We mustn't entirely believe every spoken word, every written term. The heck, mine may be entirely different from what I really want to mean, but the sure thing is, we are continuously searching, cracking our own codes.

So, where am I? Ah, sadness. And we have different ways of coping up. Mine happened to be playing with words

Friday, November 6, 2009

Vows of submission


vows of submittion ... Can i have it like that? You got it like that!



I can iron your vest if you want to, The one that you don't wear cuz its wrinkled.
I´ll soe your stockings, for when winter comes...
I'll cover you with my Rain Cout, i wouldnt want to see you wet.
If it gets real cold at night, i could cover him with my body's heat.
And you'll see how velvet skin, thats now cold, comes so fresh in the summer time
And when outum comes...i'll dust off the leafs from your porch so we can lay beneath all those planets.
My sent will cover you with lil touches of lavander. There's another women in me (secret) some of ém ninfets and in my body only you and lightweight dresses, to be taken by total desire to dream.
But when it is time for me silence and go tough I know that suffering, I'll leave you far from me.
I am not embarrassed to ask for his love (charity), but will it protect my dignity?
I won´t leave (not even willing) a photograph.
Only the cold, the planets, ninfetas and all my poetry) ) )

*Fernada Youg

Fernanda Young




pensador.info



pensador.info

"Nossas dúvidas são traidoras e nos fazem perder o que, com freqüência, poderíamos ganhar, por simples medo de arriscar"

"o problema é que quero muitas
coisas simples,
então pareço exigente."


"é melhor mesmo continuar escrevendo
essas frases curtas, que assim amontoadas,
dão um ar de coisa, coisa pensada,
e nem é, sabe? nem é importante..."


"tem a premência de salvar, mas não é uma bóia,
não provoca epifânias, e por isso nem é inspiração.
não provoca nada."
quantos dias perdi você,
olhando para mim,
dentro do seu corpo.

"sinto-lhe como ponte elevadiça.
subo. desço.
entro e saio.
jamais fico,
jamais ao lado.
somente embaixo,
somente em cima."


"somos arquietípicos,
ridículos, etéreos
e nunca comuns.
comuns são os casais,
nós não somos nada."


"não mais delirar,
nem sentir no corpo
esse seguir sem descanço,
atrás de sutilezas que não
podem ser descritas."


"a culpa não é sua, nem minha.
mas serei eu a que irá arder nas chamas,
porque bruxos não existem."


"Uma pessoa olhando para um celular que não toca - não há cena mais idiota. Os celulares foram justamente inventados para que ninguém precise mais ficar aguardando uma ligação ao lado do telefone."

"Existem pessoas que tornam a tolerância tão difícil, que esta deveria ser considerada praticamente em superpoder"

"Acho sim, que, às vezes, dou trabalho.Mas é como ter um Rolls Royce: se você não quiser ter que pagar o preço da manutenção, mude para um Passat."

Fernanda Young

Saturday, October 31, 2009

23 Things I Know For Sure!


1.What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough.

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always."

21.Hopeless emptiness.Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness. "

22. You know what's so good about the truth? Everyone knows what it is however long they've lived without it. No one forgets the truth, they just get better at lying.

23. If i eat that delicious peace of chocolate cake that is in this picture it will be a moment on the lips, a lifetime on your hips and thighs and bubbies

Friday, October 30, 2009

Dorothy Says she'll lend me her slippers so that i can go back home to him..



"they say you're not someone untill sobody loves you!" i heard you say.

And i say to you...
Just when I'm ready to throw in my hand
Just when the best things in life are gone I lean over and touch your chest, feel your heart beat.
There's no smoke without fire. You're exactly who I want to be with without you what could I do
And when I'm willing to call it a day. Just when I won't take another chance
I hear your voicer and catch your contagious laughter.
There's no smoke without fire. Man I love you, without you what would I do
And i miss you i miss you and miss you.
Everything about you. The way you pick on me, the way you try to and sometimes do get a tap on my butt, i miss your somewhat sometimes bitchy moods. I miss looking at you when you don't know that i am. Its not creapy, its love and love in the purest of ways. If i close my eyes and go to sleep maybe dorothy can lend me her magic ruby slippers so that i can clip my heels three times and repeating "there´s no place like home, there´s no place like him and bamm i have a smile stretched from ear to ear to see you walk down the road. And we meet at the lights, i stare for a while
Just you and me on this
let me be the calm you seek but every time I'm close to you
there's too much I can't say and then its time to leave again
and I forgot to tell youI love you and the night's too long and cold here
without you.
I grieve in my condition
for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so and Dorothy needs her slippers back.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

To what extent should ideology be the foundation of belief?


"Belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true".

"An ideology is a set of aims and ideas that directs one's goals, expectations, and actions."

If your belief system stems from ideology then you have it back to front.

Your beliefs should be based on facts. Cold, hard facts.
Ideology follows.


Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
Our story begins, as these stories often do, with a young up-and-coming politician. He's a deeply religious man and a member of the conservative party. He is completely single-minded convictions and has no regard for the political process. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of 'national security'. At first, it is believed to be a search for biological weapons and it is pursued regardless of its cost. However, the true goal of the project is power, complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently... but the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new ability to wage war is born from the blood of one of their victims. Imagine a virus - the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you and you alone have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It is at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience; for whom the ends always justify the means and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximize the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water-treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Until at last the true goal comes into view. Before the St. Mary's crisis, no one would have predicted the outcome of the elections. No one. But after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believed that it was the work of God himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members made them all obscenely rich. But the true genius of the plan was the fear. A year later, several extremeists are tried, found guilty, and executed while a memorial is builterected to canonize their victims. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government. And through it our politician was ultimately appointed to the newly created position of High Chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history. V FOR VENDETTA

God is in the Rain.




They say a pictures can say a thousand words, and if this one here could explain the meaning behind it...i don't know. I donteven think that you could put it to words. Just keep it in your memory in your private emotions.
What did i come back with this time. What did i learn, what do i know clearly now.
So many things, so mane emotions as usual, so many things going on feelings expressions emotions happiness bliss rage frustration sadness pain longing but most of all belonging. A sense of being there for a reason and belonging and beeing a part of this persons life for a very strong reason.
Everytime i come back i say "this time it was better...This time was the best!".
But atually this time around was the best the most fullfilling the most understandable, the more transparente of all of the other times, and i think that its what makes it different from the others.
I´ve learned the necessity for healthy comunications. Even if it means what you're gonna hear is not what you want to hear, but it might just be what you need to hear. So it hurts sometimes...yes it does. But you shake it off and learn from it.
I understood that if this person is a person that i love the way that i know i do, then im going to have to trust him and let my guard down. Talk about and know the importance of (talking) about your deepest fears and feelings.
Your parter should hear your most embarassing insecurities, because once you've said them out loud, you've created a safe zone and you can trust that what you're holding back can be in good hands once you let it out.
But its so hard to leave him behind and come back to my reality. Yeah sure i can make the best of my reality, but thats not the reality i want.
It takes me so long to reajust to not seeing him. Not hearing his voice, feeling his heart beat. He´s the one. And we may disagree on many things and be different on a lot of them too. But who says that for a relationship to work out you have to be equal, the same. Nope i don't agree. There are some things in wich you should have the same thought value for. Spiritually, mentally. values character things that are a part of a persons beeing. that i think is importante. To be in harmony with your partner in the things that matter for your well beeing and your menthal health. Anything else, music taste, opinion. None of that has to coincide in order to creat balance. Who's to say that the flaws that i have aren´t qualities that you lack and vise-versa?
But i miss him and it hasn´t even been 24 hours since i last saw him.
and it's hard at the end of the day.I need some distraction i cant sleep. Dont want to close my eyes and realize i´m not there anymore.
Beautiful release memory seeps from my veins let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight and may i find some comfort there.


"Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey Hammond: Oh. Right.
V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V. "

Remember...?