Benign Self-compassion or Malignant Self-centeredness

To some degree, we are a reflection of what is around us. We tend to develop belief systems about us based upon what we learn, based on instructions we are given and expectations we encounter. What we don't see is that when we buy into these beliefs we're allowing someone else to rent space in our head.
So before i even start to research about what it means to have love for yourself, i need to know who am i. I need to look at my life and see how much of it have i scripted and how much of it have i allowed to be scripted by others.
I don't want to live off perceptions and expectations of others and let my life be script by them.
How am i suppose to be connected to myself if i'm going be guided my a scrip that is being writen by other peoples views and beliefs? Whos life am i going to be living if i'm conditioned to other peoples approval or beliefs?
My plan is to get to a level where no words can affect me, no opinion can creat instability. No judgement can condition me.
I'm going to get to a state where i can see what's coming from my core and stop whithholding like its going out of style. I'll be the kindest soul and have the bravest heart.
I'll see eveything, i'll see evey part, i'll dig into every thing of which i'm ashamed.
Because i've understood that what i resist persists and speakes louder then i know.
And i'll pratice my ass of until i get it.