Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Constant shift between Love and Fear

I challenge you today to listen to the language and methods you employ to affect change. I also challenge you to understand the motivation driving your behavior and consider how you can remove fear based motivation from your life and exchange it for motivation driven by love.

we communicate when we speak and when we are the receiver. How we communicate often demonstrates our expectations.
“is what I am saying and how I am receiving information being driven by a negative expectation?”

As long as I can remember, I have craved love. More specifically, I have craved feeling loved. And from some people more than others. Yesterday, I realized, this craving and the hurt it causes simply is a case of overextended expectations and the consequential dissapointment. It is not only unreasonable on my behalf, it most of all is very deceptive. Unconsciously believing I can only feel loved when others express their love for me. Expecting them to express this love in ways that make me feel loved. The ultimate deception being I cannot give myself all the love I need to feel completely loved.

I should convince myself that I emanated from the same Source from which everything comes into being. That i am One with all that is. That the Love I feel comes from the same Source of being from which I was born.That I am Love. How can I not be? The Love I feel from others is this Love reflected back at me. How can I not feel loved? Only in denying this Love, in disregarding the fullness of who I am, I feel unloved. Feeling completely loved is born in consciousness, in the full acceptance of self. But i haven't been able to believe in that.
It is interesting how we are each in our own place along our journey and how depending where you are in your journey dictates your perspective.

We respond with what we have inside of us. You can be a person who is is full of love, compassion and forgiveness and when something happens they respond with what she is full of. Squeeze her and all that comes out is love, compassion and forgiveness. Or you can be a person who lives off fear, doubt and suspicion and therefore that is how they responds to life for when you squeeze them what comes out is what is inside which is fear, doubt and suspicion.
It is important to stand back and observe what comes forth from us when we are squeezed. When pressure is applied what comes out of us? Do we respond with love and compassion or do we respond with fear and anger?
We're flawed. thats the name of our species and we are human. I think that for exemple if we sit on a radioador and its hot, we jump off of it. When we sit on something about ourselves , or we touch something about ourselves that is hot that we dont like on a deep level, not even consciously, we jump! we get off of it. We dont wanna know, those deamons on ourselves, those things about ourselves.
Why do we do it?! Because we are afraid of the unknown. We are afraid of what becomes of us, or what we turn into if we do.
Some things in our lives are not worth digging into, because not only it will bring you pain, but there will be nothing you can do about it.
Im trying to live from love and not fear. I have been for a while. But something in me always happens and sets me back again to that comfort zone wear i dont have to deal with it.
But i want to be free. Free from this dependency. Free from this backpack i carry on my back. This backpack (as they said in the movie) that is the weight of my life
packed with all the stuff that i have in my life... you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then the backpack starts getting pretty heavy now.But you go bigger. You fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office... and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. And thats what i want to get!

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