Thursday, March 4, 2010

Inside of me...

Im here again with you in this place i like to call my safe haven. And im happy-
Every time i came here to you, a lil fear comes over me, a lil sight of insecurity pops up. Doubs and uncertainly. The space and time between us, what has it to to and for us.
I had some recomendations, i did!"Ana, please try, try to be yourself in front of him. Let him see you as we do. Act around him as you do with us."
And i thought about it and i wondered if all this time its been like that. I've been wearing a mask or putting on a profile that i thought would please him more. I didnt know, and i wanted to find out.
And when i saw him this one thing happened to me that always happens. Peace takes over my heart, this sense of belonging takes over me. And i said "No, i dont fake it, i dont put up a front for him. I might sometimes hold my thoughs, but i never fake it. Its me that he sees. Its just that with him its different. I can never be aroumd him how i am around my family because its not the same thing.
This person brings me peace. He brings me joy and happiness. And it relaxes me, so the bad temper and the anxiouty and the stress and all of the negative behaviores i have when im not with him, disapear with i come to him.
My intellect. My head is a magical place, and, although I’ve been terrified of it in the past, I’m starting to make peace with my brain. It’ll be a long journey, though.
But he gives me peace and he allows me to stop and look around me, and look inside of me.
I want to heap love on him and praise Sweet, sexy, funny as hell, charismatic, and im head over heels for him.
He showers me with words, words of wisdom, words that challange, words that make me think.
There is an interaction of words between us a link and an understanding that i've never experienced with anyone.
Is that the defination of love?! I think so jai Ho!

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