Did You Lose You Mind Or Did You Finally Found Your Mind?

I came out of the forest to find me. Left my excess baggage behind. Don’t really care much...don’t need it anymore. I earned it!
Here’s what I found out :You learn more from the things that don't work out, then the Things that do.
So how does this work ? Perseverance .And sometimes perseverance in the face of great adversity. So it ends up being, you have to protect what is it in you that you need for yourself in order the became that someone you need to be. And that takes discipline, takes this degree of perseverance that ultimately is not the measure of who you are as person, but its a measure of what you are as a human being. And its hard. Because their is nothing greater then defining yourself by your qualities and values as a human being. And that’s where it gets tough.
Understanding our past determines actively our ability to understand the present.
So how do we sift truth from belief, how do we write our own history, both personally or socially?. And that is my quest.
Its new years eve and im sitting here at home, didn’t feel like going anywhere. But felt this real need to write this down.
the moment thought realises what it is doing to itself – what we are doing to ourselves – it has begun really to learn", and who would disagree? But what prevents or delays this moment of truth? Why, if it is all so simple, if it is all just a matter of realising, once and for all, what one is doing, does one not realise?
Imitation without question is easier than discovery, a comfort zone ,emptiness, the truth takes longer to discover.
Surely we have taken enough time to discover what we are. We are conditioned human beings. We have discovered this fact about ourselves after listening to those one or two others who have carefully pointed it out to us, and perhaps also by experimenting a little with it for ourselves. At the end of it we may have discovered the truth - perhaps a truth discovered many times over - that we are conditioned human beings. And yet somehow we remain essentially conditioned, still caught up in our habits, our reactions and preoccupations, our prejudices and our fears, still tied to a seemingly innate bundle of human sorrows. So having taken the time and the trouble to discover all this about ourselves, what actual good has this discovery done? If, at the end of it, we are left merely with the discovery that we are conditioned and yet continue in more or less the same pattern as before, have we actually discovered anything at all of any practical use? Therefore I question whether it takes time to discover what we are. I also question whether it is a complicated process - I don't say it is simple, but I question the complication of it - because I think time and complication are necessary only when we want to avoid what we are. Then self-discovery and self-knowledge can become a lifetime's work, at the end of which we are still conditioned human beings.
Because The conditioning is the habit, taught to us as children, to shift our attention from the perception of our senses to what our memory thinks about the perception of our senses and to accept the thoughts as truth instead of the perceptions.
But if i want to act a lil as the devils advocate i can say,
Yes, sir, conditioning is the root cause - we are not saying otherwise - so there is no disagreement between us. But conditioning itself has no cause. That's the point. It may have an historical cause - because of something that happened when I was three years old, for example - but even the tracing back to find the various historical causes doesn't end conditioning. On the contrary, the very act of tracing back may be a conditioned reflex which always looks to the past for its answers.

So if conditioning has no cause, if fear has no cause, then there is only this: there is only fear. The moment we start to say, 'Well the cause of fear is this, that or the other,' then fear has already taken hold of the problem and is attempting to shape it in its own limited terms, which is in the act of providing an explanation for fear. There is no explanation for fear. So you are stuck with fear. Now will you accept that? Or you already are moving away when you only accept it as an idea. Or you resist it, say, 'What rot - fear has a cause,' and then you continue to live in fear because still you haven't found the cause. So you are forever caught in time, caught in the hope or in the belief or the in certainty of finding a cause for fear. Whereas it has no cause.

And we need to discuss all this because it is not a simple affair. Fear lies in every word we use, in the language we have inherited, which again is all part of our conditioning. What matters is our approach to the problem of fear. If you say, 'Fear has a cause,' then show me the cause and it is over and done with. But no-one has ever done this. Instead they have presented their theory or their opinion about it which is then ready to fight the next man's theory or opinion about it.
So where do we stand? Sometimes i wonder if I’ve lost my mind, or if i have finally found it.

What attaches you?

Attachment gives a certain occupation to the mind - right? You constantly think about it. And this constant occupation is one of the factors which the brain and the mind says, "Yes I must be occupied with something" - please follow all this. With my god, with my sex, with my drink, with my god knows what - I must be occupied - with the kitchen or with the king, or with some social order, or commune, or whatever it is. And out of this demand for occupation there is attachment, you hold on to something.

Now why is the mind occupied? Why must it be occupied? And what would happen if it was not occupied? Would it go astray? Would it disintegrate? Would it feel utterly naked, empty and therefore the fear of that emptiness, therefore occupation? And therefore the importance of the furniture, the book, the idea, and all the rest of it. So out of the empty feeling and loneliness of not being totally whole, the mind is attached. You follow? And can the mind live, be vital, energetic, full of depth, without attachment? Of course it can.
But i still haven't figured it out yet. Still in a place where i'm almost dependent and emotionally vulnerable to what affectes me.

Your Inner Thoughts - Fear and Nothingness

Why do we store up flattery and insult, hurt and affection? Without this accumulation of experiences and their responses, we are not; we are nothing if we have no name, no attachment, no belief. It is the fear of being nothing that compels us to accumulate; and it is this very fear, whether conscious or unconscious, that, in spite of our accumulative activities, brings about our disintegration and destruction. If we can be aware of the truth of this fear, then it is the truth that liberates us from it, and not our purposeful determination to be free.

You are nothing. You may have your name and title, your property and bank account, you may have power and be famous; but in spite of all these safeguards, you are as nothing. You may be totally unaware of this emptiness, this nothingness, or you may simply not want to be aware of it; but it is there, do what you will to avoid it. You may try to escape from it in devious ways, through personal or collective violence, through individual or collective worship, through knowledge or amusement; but whether you are asleep or awake, it is always there. You can come upon your relationship to this nothingness and its fear only by being choicelessly aware of the escapes. You are not related to it as a separate, individual entity; you are not the observer watching it; without you, the thinker, the observer, it is not. You and nothingness are one; you and nothingness are a joint phenomenon, not two separate processes. If you, the thinker, are afraid of it and approach it as something contrary and opposed to you, then any action you may take towards it must inevitably lead to illusion and so to further conflict and misery. When there is the discovery, the experiencing of that nothingness as you, then fear - which exists only when the thinker is separate from his thoughts and so tries to establish a relationship with them - completely drops away. Only then is it possible for the mind to be still; and in this tranquillity, truth comes into being.

"There is a common need to escape, and mutually we need eachother. This usage is called love"

It is necessary to be attentive to this flow of time, no saying, "I will keep this, this part of time which has given me pleasure, which has given me satisfaction, this remembrance of something which has delighted me". There must be a total attention, in which there is no sentiment at all, no emotion. For most of us sorrow is self-pity, and self-pity is an utter waste of time in an emotional orgy. It has no value at all. What has value is the fact, not the self-pity which arises from the discovery that we cannot or can, should or should not. Self-pity breeds emotional anxiety, sentiment and all the rest. When there loss of what we need, in it is always this poison of self-pity. That self-pity takes many forms, the deep consideration for what we've lost, and so on and on and on. But where there is sorrow, there is no love. Where there is jealousy there is no love. Where man is ambitious, competitive, seeking self-advancement, trying to attain, such a person obviously has no love. We all know this intellectually, yet we pursue the way of life that breeds sorrow.

Act Like a Lady, And Think Like a Man

I am no expert on men. By no means...Actually its quite the oppisite. When it comes to men, and i'm in love, its sad to say i'm very vulnerable and submissive.
But i can say i learned a lot, or actually what i have learned i learned it the hard way through some pretty intense things i went through in past relationships.
So i can say thats in certain areas, when it comes to relationhps i have some expert advice to give to a friend in need.
So yesterday i had to make a home visit to a friend in need. (i told her that home calls were more expensive, and it was gonna cost her, specially because it was poring rain!).

So, here is the deal. My friend in need is in a relacionship white a man that is not that into her, but not because he doesnt care about. But because he's in a point of his life were he can't handle her right now. He's just can't be into her emotionally.
Its all fine, but the problem is that this friend in need, she is really in need and she's all emotionally into him, so she has all good the good intentions, but is doing in in all the wrong ways...She's pushing him away, when she should be pulling him in. But she doesn't know how to, because she's blinded by her needs and insecurities and desperation and special that fear of being alone,and being convinced that this is her last chance to be happy and of course, that he is the one who is going to to that for her. WRONG!!!!
Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty.
encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.
That’s a woman’s love—it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.

That sall fine and dandy, but caution here, be smart about it. If you're gonna go all the way lije that. Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets)-but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.

Now, revealing that you're a keeper is no guarantee that this guy won't just walk away. Some men really are just sport fishing and have no intention of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the cae with this man, then let him walk-what do you care? He's not the guy you're looking for.
But we women, when were in a situation that we are vulnerable and needdy and desperate and in a rush. So we cant see past that and we confuse things and fantasize everything to our own personal convinience. I know. I've been there.

I got one thing tough. And i told her : Men respect standarts, so get some!!!
So you have to speak up! Dont expect him to figure it out. Otherwise he's gonna act on what you put out ther for him.
If a woman laid out the rules- requirements- early on, and let her intended know that he could either rise up to those requirements, or just move on. A directive like that signals to a man that you are not a plaything-someone to be used and discarded. It tells him that what you have- your benefits- are special, and that you need time to get to know him and his ways to decide if he DESERVES them.
The man who is willing to put in the time and meet the requirments is the one you want to stick around, because tthat guy is making a conscious decision that he, too, has no interest in playing games and will do what it takes to not only stay on the job, but also get promoted and be the proud beneficiary of your benefits. And you, in the meantime, win the ultimate prize of maintaing your dignity and self-esteem, and earning the respect of the man who recognized that you were worth the wait.


Your objective is to avoid being on a string.
The first step, I think, is to get over the fear of losing a man by confronting him. Just stop being afraid, already. The most successful people in this world recognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared to take a shot. The same philosophy can be applied to dating: if putting your requirements on the table means you risk him walking away, it's a risk you have to take. Because that fear can trip you up every time; all too many of you let the guy get away with disrespecting you, putting in minimal effort and holding on to the commitment to you because you're afraid he's going to walk away and you'll be alone again. And we men? We recognize this and play on it, big time.

So Newsflash: it's not the guy who determines whether you're a sports fisher or a keeper-it's you. (Don't hate the player, hate the game.) When a man approaches you you're the one with total control over the situation-whether he can talk to you, buy you a drink, dance with you, get your number, take you home, see you again, all of that. We certainly want these things from you; that's why we talked to you in the first place. But it's you who decides if you're going to give us any of the things we want, and how, exactly, we're going to get them. Where you stand in our eyes is dictated by YOUR control over the situation. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

Anyways...that's what i've learned from the mistakes i've made in the past. Do i put it to good use? Not always. But i realize that this is the truth and if you take this approach, you will not be cheated out of your life. Thats what i've learned and Steve Harvey gave me some pointers that were right on!

This Infinite Sadness

The sadness of life is this - the emptiness that we try to fill with every conceivable trick of the mind. But that emptiness remains. Its sadness is the vain effort to possess. From this attempt comes domination and the assertion of the me, with its empty words and rich memories of things that are gone and never will come back. It is this emptiness and loneliness that isolating thought breeds and keeps nourished by the knowledge it has created.

The fundamental issue is whether the brain cells, which have been conditioned, can really bring about a mutation in themselves. Then the whole thing is simple. And i was convinced it was only possible through insight. You see nobody is willing to listen to to things in its entirety, they listen partially - agree in the sense, go together up to a certain distance, and stop there. If man really says, I must have peace in me, therefore I must live peacefully then there is peace in me. But i figured that we not always want to live in peace, he does everything opposite to that - his ambition, his arrogance, his silly petty fears and all that. And that is our human nature

And because im on a role...

Im going through a big transition, i just know it. It because its just a big one, my emotional health is still not quite equiped to handle some stuff...And as a result sometimes i'm in conflict with what i know what i thought i knew and what i should really know. It gettings some what confusing and i find myself in this constante battle within.
So i found this on the net, that i think if i believe in, will help me lots.
Here we go :

Some thoughts to help you on a fresh start

"Use your first smile, your first form of generosity, of love, of kindness—use it at home; start at home. And if there is something left over—if … your plate is just full of abundance of patience and goodness and smiles and joy, then by all means, you should go … and offer that to others. But we must begin at home."

"If you are immune to anything, no one can hurt you."

"I marvel at my own sense of calm now. Events that used to leave me reeling, with my head in a bag of chips, no longer even faze me."

"The reason to turn brick walls into motivating forces is that if we don't, they become excuses as to why we can't accomplish things. We can all do much more than we think, once we decide to do it."

"Don't rush forward. When I'm mired in confusion about what the next step should be, when I'm asked to do something for which I feel little enthusiasm, that's my sign to just stop—to get still until my instincts give me the go-ahead."

"Patience is a skill, not an inherited trait. … It leads to relaxation, not self-harnessing. It gives you the freedom to have a pleasant time even when the traffic gods are playing with you. It converts the helpless rage of impatience into a delicious sense of spaciousness."

"You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves."

"Silently tell yourself simple things like 'It's okay.' 'You're all right.' 'There's no rush.' 'You can do this.' You'll be amazed at the power of this humble mental-management technique to help you turn knowledge into action."


"The most amazing thing about books is the way they patiently wait on the shelf for you to be ready for them."

"We will attempt today to be aware only of what we can hear and see, and what makes perfect sense. …In patience and in hope we try again today."

"I know for sure that to be present with yourself is the most important gift you can have. Appreciate now, so that the next hour and the next year don't slip away unnoticed. Every moment matters."

"Surrender your expectations. Instead of setting yourself up for disappointment, decide to do things differently this year. When you notice yourself projecting into the future, worrying about the past or listening to your negative internal chatter, use a simple statement like 'be here now' to remind you to return your thoughts to the most useful place of all—the present!"