Friday, July 3, 2009

Things I dont Understand....Spiritual Quest

The ego? Isn't the biggest evil the ego and the root of all evil. I know calling it evil is a very strong word, but isn't it tough?
Absolutely (i personally think). And the ego is an accumulation of unexamined perceptions that run our life.
Another thing is ignorance. When we're talking about i'm talking about ignorance that's running our life. People not knowing that they are
the light. Not being able to see the light or feel the light or express the light. And through the veil of ignorance, people do destructive things. Now underneath that destruction. They say that behind every human aberration there is a spiritual aspiration. There is something trying to come through. But it is coming through the veil of ignorance and the ego.Behind every human aberration, there lies a spiritual aspiration. Doesn't that make so much sense? doesn't it explain so many behaviors in people we're in contact with. If we can past the impulse of judgemente and prejudice we can see what lies underneath people's humanity.
Like slavery. You would ask So what was the human aspiration—the spiritual aspiration of slavery?
The spiritual aspiration of slavery was abundance. Prosperity. Control. I mean, on a positive side.
I don't know if its a comfort of justification there is this theory that white people were trying to control their life. They were trying to have more. And they
did it through a destructive way. They dehumanized a whole group of people. The Black People.
But underneath that, they were trying to control their life. They were trying to have more than enough. But they were ignorant that they were connected to the divine and they were ignorant that the black people were connected to the divine. But underneath there was a spiritual energy trying to happen. But it was coming through ego and it was coming through the prism of ignorance. Because it
can't be God and something else. That would mean that God is not infinite. You're either aware of it or you're ignorant of it.
Those are symptoms. Symptoms of an individual that's cut off from the light or is ignorant of their true nature and being. And so they have coping mechanisms, defense mechanisms, compulsive behaviors, all kinds of behaviors that are symptoms.
Drugs, abuse, etc. But it's from ignorance. Not being—being unconnected consciously.
It hasn't always been easy for me to give and to share, and I think i never understood that my path should have always been to receive and to accept. I'm not talkong about material things, i'm talking about love and forgiveness acceptance and recieving what other want to give to me. Without it feeling uncomfortable and so there there has been recently this effort in chipping away at whatever wall is there, not good enough, not worthy, untill they begin to disintegrate until I get to
the core of who I am, which is good. Which is wonderful. And not in an egocentric kind of way. So I would say that one of my challenges over the years that can
I have that within me. And feel good about myself. Feel good about me Ana. And understanding that she's a good girl.
To feel that my intentions are high. My motivation is pure. That i may make mistakes, but that my motivation is pure and my intention is high. So that I can like who i am . And so i'll be chipping away at all the dark places until that—that emergeds.
Something as simple as just plane being authentic. Do you have to be brave to be authentic? Its the most ironic strange thing. That it takes so much courage to be authentic. We spend so much time hiding out from eachother.Outing yourself for just the thuth of who you are. So if you ask me whats evil? i'd wouldn't hesitate to say " the way we hide from eachother" Or you can put it this way; when we're not authentic and we're not real, we rub up against ourself and we creat friction - a friction with fictional characters.
So there's a question that is trying to ask itself. There's a quality that is trying to emerge.Now -and i think the question has something to do with, what is the nature of peace of mind? What is the nature of the gift that's trying to express itself? What is the nature of what's trying to emerge in my life?
And so in asking questions like these i know i'll get the insight, i'll get the inseight and it will cometo me in a language that i can undertand. But i know for sure that if i want that to happen, i have to interested and stay awake.

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