Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. and that's not even the difficult part. the difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, and you go into the unknown. and once you do, you can never go back.
When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t get out of bed.I was laying there, and I thought to myself how comfortable it was. It was silent, no one was around, and I felt so good laying under the blankets that were wrapped around me. At that moment, I realized I could lay in bed for all hours of the day, not talking to one person, living in my thoughts, and not doing anything with myself, and it wouldn’t bother me. All I would need is a paper and a pen. I wouldn’t go insane like most people would. I wouldn’t feel content, but I wouldn’t feel sad either, I would feel comfort and calm. I find that to be absolutely saddening.

They say that when people first lose a limb, they can still feel it. It still hurts, they still try to use it. They call it having a "Phantom Limb" I think that this is what losing a person is like. You beckon them over to "come see this!", you come home at the end of the day to tell them about how much you hate going to work, you pick up the phone to call them when you're happy, sad, mad, or somewhere in between. Until you realize that they're not there. And each time you realize it, it hurts just as bad as it did the first time, all over again. Only an arm, I could lose. It's the people I care about the most that I can't live without
Letting go is hard, but it's better to let go than to hold on to something that was never meant to be. so hold your head high, gorgeous, and stay strong because once you let go, better things are going to come along.

1 comment:

  1. your first or second paragraph describes the full effects of dmt and your analysis of said feelings are also a result of the natural chemical. I would reassess your conclusions on this area given this information, although you are on an interesting topic I feel the early morning analogy is diluted and questioned by the presence of dmt in the morning. I love how you put into words the notion that the heart can put you in places you shouldn't, or don't need to be. I am equally intrigued in how the mind deals with situations where your hearts is 'going renegade' and if possible how it can allow the person to explore the unknown but maintain an essential lid on reality. topics of conversation? probably not but you never know