The DOs and The DONTs and The WILLs and The WONTs

Every thing is wrong.

There's a picture of me, taken by him while i was in Sarasota and i don't even recognize myself.

Damn I'm even glowing for Christ sake.

Look at me now, if someone was to snap a picture of me right now that poor camera would just explode into tiny little micro pieces on the account of all the negative energy coming out of My pores.

And i wonder why is that that i can't find ways to get out of this place. Well actually i DO know how . But i think that its mostly because i WONT that i stay stuck in this miserable state of mind.

In order to let go of the things that are draining my energy i have to make some difficult decisions and i don't think that I'm quite ready to do so. Either its because i don't have solutions or replacements or its because the solutions and the replacements are not really that attractive.

I think that creating a better life for yourself has more to do with what you remove from it, then what might add to it.

Everything undone, incomplete or unresolved drains your energy. Not being honest with yourself and avoiding conflict drains your energy. Every action you take uses energy, and every action you dont take uses energy.

The things that i know that i need to change and that if i did change would bring so much peace in my life are berried so deep and far away in my mind that i almost act like they dont exist.

But even tough i rather not focus on them. They are a constant in the back of my mind, pushing and shoving their way into my conscious mind.

*What area of my life am i avoiding or neglecting and why.

*What am i worrying about and what am i trying not to think about

*If i eliminate these drains, how would my life change?

Trying to find peace of mind when youre unwilling to make sacrifices can be a real bitch. Ánd it makes sense that it should be like that.

Because we all know that its gonna get worse before it gets better ALWAYS. There can´t be no short cut or D-tour

So no use delaying the digging in the dirt because sooner or later your gonna have to get your hands dirty.