Attempting to manage the emotion of others.
I give away so much power on the account that i take eveything personally. Every argument, every action or non-reacting i take personally.
I've done that for so long. But its not all about me when i'm interacting with others, so why should i see me as the cause of other people's reactions and emotions. I am sole responsible for myself and my own feelings. If i'm not acting intentionally to hurt someone i shouldn't have to take personally how they behave towards me. The feelings that they're going through are the ones that they have created for themselves. Just as they can't cause the reacting of my own feelings.
I behave according to my beliefs my limitations, my fears and emotions. And if i can't see that i stay stuck in trying to manage other peoples emotions. And how am i going to expect to have an authentic relationship between me and the people that i relate to. Because as soon as i try to anticipate someone elses reaction i start shaping my behavior to meet my expectation of their reaction. And that leads consequently to deciet and error in judgment and it makes otheres believe that things are different from what they really are.