i kind of love you

i kind of love you.
so i punish you.
and you punish me for punishing you.
and we live it out [a tragic little comedy. our tragicomedy].



i kind of love you.
or i kind of love you loving me
(although you know that i cannot [yet?] love you
the way you would like to be loved).
perhaps i am waiting for someone else
[to kind of love me too]
so that i can finally say,
'i win. you can love. you see?? you are, right now!'


kind of love you.
but for now,
i only know how to kind of love you from afar.
and completely love you perhaps not at all.
and
i'm sorry.