Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Is This How to Keep your Woman?!

Quote of the Day - “There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.”
A list of things to do to lock down your girl.

If she’s not feeling loved, she WILL find someone to love her…better than you at that.
■Is this is your girl, wifey, or Jump off. I know its an unwritten Man Law that you can’t show a girl that you like them, but dayum dudes show your GIRL that you actually care. And showing that you actually care doesn’t mean buying them the most expensive thing in Macy’s although expensive gifts don’t hurt. But try making something for them or doing something a little unique like planning a picnic, writing a poem, or just lip syncing your song to them. Doesn’t matter if you can write or not it’s just the thought that matters. Now there is one exception to this rule. Make sure this is your girl this method may not work w/ Jump offs or Buddies.
Celebrate small things, like the 3 month anniversary, or the first kiss, It’s gets you MAD Brownie points.
■Remember she’s still a girl, no matter how much of an independent woman she claims to be, Girls are mushy, and they like to know that you’re paying attention. So a simple card or candle can go a long way in building a relationship into a stable foundation for the future and is the 2 of you.
Let your nuts hang and she’ll love you more.

■You got balls don’t you? Act like it. No females wants a man she can walk all over so have a backbone tell her no sometimes and then surprise her when she least expect it. Going out this weekend make the plans trust me if she isn’t bout it she’ll let you know. Take the lead, tell her what the 2 of you are going to be doing tonight. If you’re worried about if she will like it, then you haven’t been paying attention to anything she’s being saying. Change careers.

Tit-tays love much licky and sucky.
■You have to be sure that in the heat of the moment you don’t ignore the nipples. Love the breast and be sure to show them equal attention. Start at the top work your way counterclockwise w/ your tongue. To a female only a few things are worst then one hard nipple.

Plan the occasional swaggerlicious get fly date and go out of town for the weekend, basically be unpredictable.

■Women get tired of the same ole routine week in and week out. Blockbusters nights are cool on a rainy night, but not all the time. If her boyfriend is lame then a dude like me has no problem taking another man’s girl out and giving her the time of her life and best believe that next weekend I will have her in my room w/ her ankles on her earlobes while Dru Hill’s Somebody’s Sleeping In My Bed plays in the background as a thrust the manxilla to the beat.

She thinks you’re sexy after you get a fresh line up, when your fixing things, rapping your favorite song, dipping through traffic, eating a peach, holding a baby, or reading.

■What do all of those things have in common? They are all simple things. you don’t have to do too much to impress a woman who likes you. If you find yourself having to do some World Strongest Man shit like picking up a car w/ your pinky, blindfolded while doing the superman dance in order to impress your old lady. Then you might need to end that relationship early. A good woman is turned on by the simple things like telling her the truth.

Talk Dirty to her in public.
■Next time you’re with your girl in the supermarket walk up behind her while shes picking out produce and whisper in her ear that you want to fuck the shit out of her right on top of the Red Peppers and discreetly feel on your booty while you do it. Now it might not happen then and there but when you get home and after you’re done helping her w/ put away the food. The Kitchen might become the scene of your own Debbie Does Dallas.

It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something with her that you wouldn’t want your girl to see, hear, read…(Yes Myspace Comments Count)

■I’m really surprised at the number of girls who have ended a potential relationship b/c some random chick left some shit on their dudes myspace page. Fellas if you know you have an ace in the pocket why ruin it w/ a jump off w/ a loud mouth. But if you gt caught and you know your boo is not your girl yet why lie about it? Girls are a lot more forgiving then you think they are. Tell her the truth. Women want a choice its an essential need to their existence. So simply put Stop Lying.

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