Friday, June 4, 2010

Don’t forget, I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.


...and when shes gone, remember you once cared for her, you once needed her. you once thought that God had put her in your life for a reason. you can't deny that she was ever there. you cant deny what you had. you cant deny that it ended over absolutely nothing. you can't deny that regardless, you still think about it, and no other girl could ever love you the way she did. one day, you'll realize what you've done, you'll come back, she'll be gone.

i believe that everything happens for a reason. people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you learn eventually to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together
It's true we don't know what we've got until its gone, but we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.Because, i am who i am, and he just happens to think thats perfect
When I think of you and me and what we shared, I know it would be easy for others to dismiss our time together as simply a by-product of the days and nights we spent by the sea, a "fling" that, in the long run, would mean absolutely nothing. Thats why I don't tell people about us. They wouldn't understand, and I don't feel the need to explain, simply becasue I know in my heart how real it was... how real this is. When I think of you I cant help smiling, knowing that you've completed me somehow. I love you, not just for now, but for always, and I dream of the day that you'll take me in your arms again
I-m trying to move on. I really am. I tried to tell myself that you don’t want me and I can’t have you anymore. I tried so hard but how can you let go of the only person who makes you happy, the only person who makes you feel alive, the only reason you’re still here? You can’t just let go of someone like that.
There’s always that one person no matter how long it’s been or how badly they’ve treated you, if they say I love you, you’ll say it back.
We can’t even look at each other. I turn away from you because I don’t want you to see the hurt in my eyes, and you turn away from me because you don’t want me to see that you still care. I know you do. You have to. We never wanted to leave each other. We just had to. We had to.

I finally realized no matter how far away I go I can never run away from my feelings for you.

I’m not going anywhere. This is it for me.You’re it for me. & I can’t pretend to feel
Any less than I do. I’m sorry; I just can’t

But sometimes the people you love are the ones who hurt you most, and sometimes you have to let go; even if you don’t want to, just so you don’t fall apart completely.
Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn’t make you love them any less, sometimes it makes you love them even more.



I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me, it happens all the time.



You left your mark and set the standards impossibly high for every other guy
I don’t want to see you anymore. I’m just not that strong. I love it when you’re here, but I’m better when you’re gone.

You kept me around while you were looking for her. You knew it the whole time. And the truth is, I don’t feel anger anymore. What I feel is sorrow because you are never going to be happy, you are always going to want more.



Sometimes you get a second chance, because you just weren’t ready for the first one.

And in that moment, I felt my heart break. And I thought “I cant live without you, I don’t want to live without you,” and then it slowly crept into my mind that no matter how bad I wanted or needed you, it wouldn’t matter.



had a dream last night. A dream you came back. I touched your face, and kissed your lips, but then I woke up. I tried so hard to get back to sleep, and back to you. Because touching your face and kissing your lips will never happen again in anywhere but my dreams
miss the old you, and finally I have come to terms with the fact that, that boy is never coming back, not now, not ever. You’ve changed, and I’ve changed my mind
The only feeling of real loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself.
The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go and when to say goodbye when you still love them as much as you did yesterday.

can’t say goodbye, when I know there is still the faintest glimmer of hope that one day you will love me too.
I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn't deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention. For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray days, where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen. & you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks - accidentally - a punctures your skin. & then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes, because at least you know you're alive.
I don't know why we all hang on to something
we know we're better off letting go.
It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have.
Some of us say we'd rather have that something than absolutely nothing,
But the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all

So maybe you were special, and maybe you were supposed to be the one,
but then again maybe you were just like the rest of them,
only you took my heart with you when you left.
And at some point I’ll call you and tell you I miss you. And tell you, you are the point of my day. And my face will get flushed and my throat will choke up when you tell me that you feel the same.

I tried so hard. you know that, right? I tried harder than you could ever imagine, and now here I am, trying my best to forget everything. Every piece of you. The way you smell, the feel of your skin. Too bad it was always so soft. I can still feel you. I think I always will."
Back then I needed you, I needed to hear you say you loved me, and I needed you to care. But, like I said, that was then and I don't need you anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to need me.

sometimes i just sit and think about what we've gone through,
how if it had been me and anyone else but you, well, i guess what im trying to say is
it wouldn't have meant as much.
& What hurt me the most before wasn't losing you; it was knowing you never fought to keep me.
You can't love anyone that way more than once in a lifetime. It's too hard and hurts too much when it ends. The first boy is always the hardest to get over, it's just the way the world works.
But don't expect me to be happy for you

and don't smile at me and tell me things

will work out for me too.

I don't want your pity.

I hate your pity.
You’ve changed so much. I guess that’s what happens. I wish you knew how much you’ve changed me. I wonder if I’ve changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mines different. My god, you taught me so much, and now we don’t even talk to each other. I guess that’s what happens.

I do love you, don’t you see? Don’t you understand? You are the love of my life. I can’t leave you, but you are constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want; you come back when you want. You don’t leave everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So I’m asking you, if you don’t see a future for us, if you’re not in this, please just end it, because I can’t. I’m in this. Put me out of my misery
You’ve changed so much. I guess that’s what happens. I wish you knew how much you’ve changed me. I wonder if I’ve changed you, if your life is different because of me. Because mines different. My god, you taught me so much, and now we don’t even talk to each other. I guess that’s what happens.
Even though I'm moving on, I will never forget you. All because you were my
first true love. And there will come a time in my life when I will thank you for
that because by you breaking my heart, it made me a little bit stronger and
you made me a little bit closer to finding the one that I'm meant to spend
the rest of my life with. The scary thing is; all the pain you put me through,
with a snap of your fingers I'd run back so fast. So I bet you love to know
you can have me at any moment if you want.


she wants you to find this, she wants you to read it, she wants you to understand
you never will.

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