Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tell him I hate him, tell him I never want to see him again, tell him I want him to die. Just don’t tell him I said all this with tears in my eyes.

I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go of. It's like we're scared to lose what we don't really even have. Some of us say we'd rather have that something than absolutely nothing but the truth is, to have it half way is harder than not having it at all.

you want to know what makes me love you more than i loved him? it's because when he got me, i was perfectly unused. i was fearless, and a hopeless romantic. when you got me i was bruised and battered. i was afraid of the world and cynical about love. and yet, you didn't leave

If you ask why I’m not interested in someone, I might say their nose is too big, or they don’t know how to dress, or they’re too thin or too fat or too plain. But the truth is, I only notice those things because of the real reason—that I’m just not feeling anything. But people don’t want to hear that. They always want an explanation. So I have to come up with something concrete even though feelings aren’t like that. If I did meet a guy and I felt happy with him for whatever reason, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what he wore or how tall he was or what he did for a living. But when I’m with someone and it just doesn’t feel right, that’s when I start noticing the bad haircut or Chicago accent or unibrow. And it’s true that tomorrow I may go home with someone who you think is totally wrong for me. And the next day I might meet a perfectly nice guy who you think I should feel excited about, but I don’t. But if I do go home with someone, it means for a change, something feels right. For a change, I’m feeling hopeful.

its a lot easier to be lost than found.
its the reason we're always searching but never discovered.
so many locks, not enough keys.
Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what its like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can just fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you’re ready to let it all end. Trust me, I know exactly how it feels.


  1. this post is really good and i read it at the perfect time...thank you!!!

  2. I feel the same...it felt amazing! It was like reading my own thoughts..