Friday, March 20, 2009
The Woman In Me
The woman in me needs to clean up her basement. Needs to sweap under the rugs, dig in there because there's a lot of dirt hidden that needs to come out. And no use trying to act like its not pilling up, because the more i ignore it and avoid doing it, the more pressing the need becomes.Like something eating away at the very core of my structure. If i stay dwelling on my basement i will never do what makes me happy, an eventually will become angry and resentful.
But its not easy to come home to yourself, specially when you have a tendency to makes excuses for your unhappiness and misery.
We need to be reminded why the cultivation of awareness and kindness is so necessary and yet so difficult.I need to be reminded, because my frustrations get me so angry that i loss sense of whatever kindness i may have in me and get bitter and judgmental and have no tolorence what so ever. I block all logic and just make radical thinking my way of being.
I think that i am overwhelmed but my beliefs and my state of mind. I'm controlled by my negativity and conditioned by my bad habits, the ones that i have claimed from all my past negative experiences.
My expectations have been raise to unattainable heights and and are in the way of my evolution.
I need to stop focusing on trying to reach the perfect weight and the perfect self and start focusing on me and my happiness attitude and state of mind. This should be my precious gift that i should have to give to myself and the people that i love and love me back.
everyday i ought to wake up and say "How is my state of mind today? Am i losing ground? If am, i better adress that first because the rest of the stuff i do won't be worth anything if i hassled or in a bad mood. I need to know my condition before i act on it. When i feel that i'm losing ground i need to adress it and not be ashamed by it.
When things are not working out the way that they should be i can't do well and its going to come to a point where words can ease and comfort my mind for a little while, but action has to be taken to back them up, particulary if i have been marinating the same words over and over again for a longtime.