Monday, March 2, 2009
"Bag lady you gone hurt your back
Dragging all them bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you..."
Erykah Badu wrote this song called "Bag Lady" a while ago about women who couldn't let go and carried all their torment and trauma and issues of past relationships with them, specially into their new relationships, and she classified it as baggage, or excess baggage.
And i started wondering how many women don't let go and carry their past dramas and let it poison their relationship.
All those bad habits and patterns and judgments raise at the sight of obstacle and stand in the way of progress and happiness.
i know i have. I've made this same mistake in every past relationship i have had. I have always given "him" the power to condition how i feel.
I have let "him" make me feel so unloved for someone so fine, so unsexy for someone so beautiful, so boring for someone so interesting and so ignorante for someone so sound of mind.
And all of those little rejections they seemed so real to me. I took them for truth and reality and i took it all so personally.
I thought that was the way to keep the love. I thought that was the only way that i could be loved. I never wanted to admit it, but i did it because i always thought i wasn't worthy of affection, i didn't deserve the love. So i took what was given to me. The whatever little that was given to me and i took it as if it was precious and rare.
But i damaged my self. I turned it into a reality and i lived by it. It made me lonely and sad and always longing for more.