Saturday, July 24, 2010
Dear Person who caused me the most pain....
As I sit here looking at this picture of us, I wonder if there will ever
be a day when I will get over your smile. When I will let go of the hugs you gave me, a day that I continue to feel.
A day when I forget the words you said to me. Whatever happens to us, I know I could never get over, let go of, or forget about you.
I remember how tight i used to hold onto him, because i didnt know how long i was going to have him in my arms.
I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry if I can't get over you at all, no matter how hard I've tried. (well actually i really havent tried. I've blocked you out)
I'm sorry if I just think that liking some other guy will help, when I know it won't. I'm sorry I still try. I'm sorry I'm hurt. I'm sorry I'm broken.
Something in me, just won't let me get over you. I'm so far from it too. there's that big part of my heart sectioned off for you. You have it and it feels like you always will.
I know in the back of my mind that life would be so much easier if I never talk to you again. If I shut you out of my life and moved on, I could finally get over you. But you're the only thing that makes me happy, whether it's right or wrong and I don't have the strength to give up on that.
What do i wanna say?! want do i want my words to say to you? What would my letter be like?!
I picked the person who caused me the most pain to be you. I don't hate you.. as a matter of fact, it's quite the opposite. I love you with all my heart, even though you broke it. I love how most of these letters are going to be for you, when I hope that I look back when I'm done with these and realize how pathetic I'm being.
I want to be over you. Why? Why would I want to love someone who won't give me the time of day anymore? Sure, we're we could still keep in touch as friends, but i just cant do that with you. I've put away all your pictures and deleted all your messeges from my phone. I want to say I'm done. I really do. I want to delete you off those things and when you notice I did, I want you to ask my sisters why. Just so they could say this,
"she blocked you because, if it's not obvious enough, or if your just way too fucking stupid to realize, she's not over you yet. she wants to be so that's what she's gonna have to do. because you don't care for her anymore and she's trying to accept that. she loves you and she doesn't want too."
And today is a bad day...