Wednesday, July 21, 2010

You Broke my heart!

Now i know i feel this way today...its been two months.
I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I’d open the door, you’d smile. And while I'm trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here, you’d tell me how hard the past months have been, how much you’ve thought about me, how much you regretted everything. And then you’d take me into your arms and ask me to forgive you, and I would without hesitation. Then you’d grab my face and kiss me the way you used to,
and everything would be perfect again.A dream of course...
We don't talk anymore. I just can't do it. I wouldn't the sound of your voice. It's like you gave me wings then told me it's illegal to fly.
And Moving on is a violent process. It means breaking up, burning a bridge between the two of you, andshattering a world you once knew so well.
There were times when he caught me, but more times when he let me fall. And it finally came time for me to learn that I could pick myself up off the ground and walk away.
Am I mad? After all we've been through, that's all you've to say? Mad for what? For breaking my heart, for shattering my dreams, for making me think you actually liked me too, Am i mad? Nope, just completely crushed and broken. I can't be mad at you.
And you've always been so good at moving forward that i know you wont notice what you're leaving behind.
And my mind just keeps on sending me thses annoying messeges constantly "If he acts like you're not worth his time maybe you're not what he wants.. you're just a replacement for what he can't have.
When I look around I think this is good enough and I try to laugh at whatever life brings because when I look down, I just miss all the good stuff and when I look up, I just trip over things.
Sometime i feel I like was only there when it was convenient for him. Like i was the gas station sitting there waiting to be visited. There were days when i hated him, and there were days when i was head over heels, too. But none of those days
mattered, because i could never have him no matter how hard i fell.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this. But I guess I've learned from it(have i?!). But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake. I just wish the story didn't end this way. Cause I'm still in love with
the person who helped me write it

And in some way, I recognize that I will never be fully over you, and that part of me will always love you. But most of me understands that this doesn't work, and I need to move on to be happy.

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